Baby Boy Macon-with-a-B, Brother to Abbot

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Emily writes:

First let me apologize for this, my second request for your help.  But we are three weeks away and really starting to panic. Your expertise could really help!

We have lists and lists of names that we have dutifully voted on together (in a far more civilized process than I ever would have imagined), only to get down to 5-10 choices that we cannot commit to.

This baby boy will our second child and definitely the last.  His older brother is named Abbot James (middle name and initials honoring my several men on my side of the family).  My husband's name is Seth, last name sounds like Macon with a B  (the boys have his last name). My name is Emily (I kept my maiden name for a variety of reasons).

Our rules (okay maybe just mine):

1. Simple, yet unique names that are generally familiar to the general public.  Word and surnames in this category are great!
2. Nothing in the top 100, but preferably nothing in the top 1000
3. Must go with middle name Michael (honor name for husband's dad)
4. Must not conflict with last name that is a breakfast food and could already lead to some measure of playground ridicule
5. Should sound good with Abbot, but this is not a deal breaker
6. We also like nature and virtue names

If we had a girl, we were probably going to name her Delphine (my family is French) or some flower/British sounding name.

Our list so far: 

Townsend (I love this name, husband thinks it is too pretentious)
Lark (Too girly? We may use this as a second middle name)
Aubin
Auden (don't love having kids with two A names though)
Thaddeus (probably out because we can't think of a cool nickname...hate Thad and Tad)
Fairfax
Pryor
Bright
Barrett (husband lives in fear of child being called Barry)
Bishop
Gideon

None of these is a slam dunk for either of us, which only leads us to keep searching for a new name (vicious cycle). Time is growing short (been fighting early labor signs for a month now) and we know we need to commit to something, but can't bring ourselves to hone in on one of these names.

Can you help us break the cycle or even suggest a new name that gets us out of the rut? Thanks so much for considering our plight!

I'm trying each name on the list with your surname, and I'm afraid I'm running into issues left and right: there's something about combining a very unusual first name with a whimsical surname that leads to comic results. Fairfax _acon. Pryor _acon. Bright _acon! Oh dear!

Bishop is probably the worst of the list with a brother named Abbot. Bishop _acon is already an amusing name, but Abbot and Bishop is a little like naming them Sailor and Fisher, or Forest and Ranger, or Harper and Piper: the theme makes the effect even more comical.

Lark definitely seems too feminine to me; in the United States, it is currently used only for girls and never for boys. And with the surname, I can't imagine it.

The only possible name on the list is Gideon. (Thaddeus would also be an option, but not if you hate the nicknames.) In your shoes, I'd be ready to just go with that: you're having so much trouble, and if this is the only name that (1) you both like and that (2) doesn't result in an amusing combination, I think it's a winner. It's good with the brother name and it's good with the surname, and you're running out of time.

I looked around for more suggestions, but I didn't find anything that seemed better than Gideon while also meeting the other preferences. Maybe Desmond. I'd certainly avoid B sounds, church-related names, word names (Sterling, Forest, Abel), and whimsical names. I might also avoid names ending in the same -on/-en/-in sound as the surname.

Baby Ashleigh-Wertman: Charles, Arthur, or William?

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A. writes:

I love your blog and check it everyday for inspiration and just to read your insight. I wrote to you last May regarding my interest in using one of my students' names as a possible middle name for a future child. A month later I got pregnant! So your advice and the advice of your readers on that topic may be put to good use very shortly if we have a girl.
I'm writing because we're having some trouble with boys' names. The troubles that we're having seem to be the same that we've been having for months and months, so I thought it might finally be time to ask for some help.  
I am due in March and we are not finding out the sex of the baby ahead of time. We'd like to go to the hospital with two full girls' names and two full boys' names ready to go and then decide after the baby is born. If this baby is a girl, her first name will be either Eleanor or Margaret. The student's name that I wrote to you about back in May (with an "e" added to the end, as several readers suggested) will be used as the middle name if the baby is a girl and looks like an Eleanor. If she looks like a Margaret, then her middle name will be Linnea.
Even though I'm still a little nervous about the potential awkwardness if we do decide to use the student's name as a middle name, I am so much more stressed about naming this baby if it's a boy. Obviously, we'd like something that would compliment Margaret and Eleanor since it's possible that we'd use them as names for future children. We seem to be narrowing down our list pretty closely, but I have "problems" with all of our choices. This bothers me because I have no such "problems" with either of our girl names. Here are our top three contenders for boys: 
CharlesI like this name a lot and when I imagine having a child named Charlie, I swoon a little. It seems like a name that is well-liked, that won't be too popular (although it's more popular in my state than in the US as a whole), and a name that carries some weight with it. I'm a science nerd, so I love the idea that he'd have a nice normal name, but that inwardly I'd know that I'd named him for Charles Darwin. The two concerns that I have are: 
1. Would the nickname Charlie sound bad with our last name? Our last name is Ashleigh-Wertman (not spelled exactly that way, but you get the idea). Does the "ee" sound a the end of Charlie sound bad with the "ee" sound at the end of Ashleigh? 
2. I have never been able to find a satisfactory answer to the question of how to posessify (is that a word?) names that end in an "s." Is it written Charles' or Charles's? And how should it be pronounced?  I know that this may seem like a minor point when choosing a child's name, but for some reason it really stresses me out to think of my poor kid being corrected by teachers right and left because different style guide writers seem to have different opinions. Am I over-thinking it? How do parents deal with this? I'm kind of a stickler for grammar rules, so I'm really frustrated that I can't seem to find a single answer that everyone can agree on when it comes to this topic. 
ArthurI love this name. I think it's interesting and unusual and that it sounds very smart and quirky. It's also a name that appears a few times in my husband's family so he's warmer to it than most of my other quirky suggestions. The troubles: 
1. My first name is like "Garden" (but without the "G"). Does Arthur sound too similar? I'm already not a fan of repeated initials within a family and on top of that the repeated "Ar" sound at the beginning of both names seems a bit much. When I say my name, my husband's name, and the name Arthur all together, it sounds a little weird to me for a family. If I throw in some other names (like, if we used Arthur for a second or third child) then it sounds a little better, but when it's just the three of us I worry that it will sound too matchy. Also, I'm a little worried about flying together. With our long hyphenated last name, the only way to differentiate between my husband's boarding pass and my boarding pass is with the one or two letters of our first names that show up. One time, an airline employee scanned my boarding pass and then my husband's and the machine made a beeping sound. She said, "Oh wait....oh, I see, Ashleigh-Wertman, A. and Ashleigh-Wertman, B. Okay, you can go through." But what if it had been me and my son flying? They would both have shown up as Ashleigh-Wertman, A and would that have been a problem? From her reaction, it sounded as though the concern may have been that someone could have just tried to copy the same boarding pass and use it for two people or something. Flying has already gotten to be such a headache . . . but surely there are fathers and sons with the exact same name, so it can't be an insurmountable issue, right? 
2. The other trouble is that it's really hard for me to stay neutral on this name. With many other names, I can picture the name on lots of different kinds of people. But with Arthur, I can really only picture it on a smart, studious, nerdy person. My husband and I are both smart, studious, nerdy people, so the association is not a bad one for us, but what if our kid is drastically different from us? Will we have saddled him with a name that just won't fit his personality? I don't know any Arthurs under the age of 60 (besides the cartoon Aardvark on PBS), so it's really difficult to figure out how this name will be received by others. 
WilliamThis is a nice, classic name that has stood the test of time pretty well. I like the way that it sounds and I can imagine it on a ton of different personalities. The troubles: 
1. It's so popular! I know that even the most popular names aren't as popular as they used to be and that William certainly isn't a "trendy" name in the sense that it will sound dated in a few years, but it's really hard for me to choose the #3 name in America (and #2 in my state!) for my child. I mean, according to the SSA, I was one of only 14 baby girls in the United States  who received my first name in the year that I was born. Last year, there were over a thousand times as many Williams.  I know that, statistically speaking, that would still make it very unlikely that he'd be one of three Williams in his class or whatnot, but it's certainly more likely than if he had a name that was at least out of the top 10. Especially since this is our first child, I'm not exposed to playgroups and daycares that would give me a better sense of how common this name is in our area, so I'm very nervous about bestowing it on my child. 
2. I can't find a nickname that I like for this name and "William" on it's own sounds a little heavy for a baby. I don't like Bill or Billy. I could get on board with Will, but probably not until he was at least a little older. I may be juvenile, but "Willy" sounds a little too much like a euphemism for a penis. I like the name Liam, but my husband had a really bad experience with a Liam, so we'd never use it. I know that William on it's own isn't a terribly long name and that it's fine to use it in it's entirety, but my husband's family is REALLY into nicknames, so I'd like to at least like some of the options. 
My other trouble is that I feel like I associate Charles and Arthur together. Like, if we decide to go with Charles, I'd want the first-middle combo to be Charles Arthur and if we went with Arthur I'd want the first-middle combo to be Arthur Charles. (William seems to be its own entity in my mind...) So I feel as though if we have a boy and go with either Charles or Arthur, it will rule out the other one for a future sibling because it will be this boy's middle name. Maybe I need to start looking into other middle name possibilities, but for some reason I feel really stuck on these two as a "pair." 
So ultimately I need some help with answering some of my naming questions and I also need some help with prioritizing/getting over my naming concerns. Before narrowing down to these three, our closest runners-up were George, Leo, Ian and Isaac. I think we'd be willing to resurrect some of these if the problems with our top three seem insurmountable, but of course each of these was eliminated for it's own issues and I think my husband has grown so tired of the naming discussion that he'd rather not re-hash any of the old names. 
Of course, if you have any fresh suggestions I'd appreciate hearing them too!

I'm going to start with the question about making a name that ends in S possessive. A person is singular, and so a person's name is a singular noun, and singular nouns ending in S are made possessive by adding an apostrophe-S. So if Charles has a hat, it's Charles's hat---just as it's Jacob's hat or Isabella's hat or Tess's hat. The final letter of the name doesn't change anything: it's always [Name]'s hat. In the case of Charles, it would be pronounced with a repeating Z sound. With time and practice the Z sound of the apostrophe-S gets diminished (shorter and quieter) so it's not quite so zizzley: Charlez-z hat.

The one exception to this rule is Jesus (probably because three Z sounds in a row didn't sound dignified enough for prayers): it's Jesus' hat and it's pronounced the same as Jesus ("In Jesus name, Amen"). This exception has caused two thousand years of people not being able to remember what to do with Charles's hat.

Once you've memorized this, a new problem emerges: will you be able to stand it when no one else seems to know the rule---including, as you mention, some of his teachers? There was a baby James in the daycare classroom where I used to work, and that experience showed me that it can be painful to know something few others know. I once saw someone write "Jame's." On something that was then laminated. That baby James is in high school now, and I am still agitating about it.

But if your son mostly goes by Charlie, it's going to be Charlie's hat anyway. And swooning when you imagine having a son named Charlie is a very good sign for the name. It does seem unfortunate that the -leigh in his surname will echo the -lie of his nickname; only you will be able to decide if you want to give up your favorite name over it. I've found I can say it in a sing-song way that makes me think it's definitely not going to work (CHAR-lee-ASH-lee WERT-man), OR I can adjust the way I say it a little to make it completely fine: "Hi! My name is Charlie [pause, then mush the surname together] AshleighWERTman." Or he could introduce himself this way: "Hi, I'm Charles Ashleigh-Wertman! Call me Charlie!"


Let's move on to Arthur. I'm dismissing the airplane ticket concerns completely. As you say, surely fathers and sons with the same name have traveled together and have not been prevented from flying, and each ticket has its own code number. If you have a boy AND you use Arthur AND you are buying airplane tickets, I would suggest explaining the issue at the time of purchase and asking the airline what you should do to make that part of the boarding process easier and less confusing for airline employees.

Arthur does sound a little like your name, but as with the repeating -lie/-leigh issue, I think only you can decide if this bugs you enough to give up the name. If you prefer Charles anyway, using Arthur as the middle name or saving it for a possible future son seems like an excellent plan.

My other primary association with the name Arthur is King Arthur. You could play that up a bit to diminish the aardvark-only association.


And finally, William. I have heard of people using Wills as a nickname. For a baby, Baby Will or Baby William seems like a natural nickname. And I found with my own babies that other nicknames just emerged on their own: we spent a lot of time calling a baby Sweetymuffin and Bippy-Louise and Pluffybuns and Froggypants, and by the time those names sounded wrong, the child was old enough for more classroom-friendly nicknames. As long as you've got Will ready for later on it sounds like you're all set.

I don't think I'd use Charles and William in the same sibling group, because of the strong association I have with the royals. But the two names are great together, and I wouldn't feel at all critical of a family that DID decide to use them together (or who used, say, Charles and Elizabeth, which should have the same level of association for me but somehow don't); it's not as if the names belong exclusively to the royal family.


It sounds to me as if you like the name Charles best, and that Charles is the name that best meets your preferences and priorities. Beyond that, all of your questions are questions you have to find your own answers to: they're all issues of personal taste, so my answers aren't necessarily going to be the same as yours. Do YOU mind the repeating -lie/-leigh sound? Do YOU mind the problems with making Charles possessive? Do YOU mind the popularity of William? Do YOU want to use both Charles and Arthur as first names or do you want to work on finding new middle names? You're definitely on the right track to be considering these questions, but another person's answers might increase the uncertainty rather than decreasing it. If it helps, I'll say this: not one single issue you raised sounds like a deal-breaker to me. Every single one of them seems like an issue where you could think it over, decide what you think, and go with that. And at this point, that seems like a good idea: instead of agitating over all the issues, think to yourself "Which of the three names do I LIKE BEST?"

Good names for "Irish" cats to be adopted on St. Patrick's Day?

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Hi,





Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn





O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)





Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html





I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............

Happy Father's Day June 16, 2013

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THIRD Sunday of June 16, 2013 is known and celebrated as Father's Day. So, what are you trying to get for the most important man in your life?

A Father's Day is greated once a year and it depends to you on how you can make this special day memorable for your closest man. Of course, there are many ways on how you can show to your daddy how much you love him.

First, we have no doubt you want to get a Father's Day gifts that will be cherished. You might try to find some thoughtful and unique father's day gifts that every dad will appreciate and enjoy. These gifts for dad are a great way to surprise him and make him proud to be your dad.

The best Father's Day gift for Dad should be one that expresses your gratitude to him for being your Dad. It should be one that comes from the heart. Even if you and your dad weren't that close, it is important that you pick the best Father's Day gift for Dad, because it sends a clear message to him that you do in fact care about him. You do in fact appreciate him for being your dad.

If you are not sure what to give for Daddy, then let's think first by asking yourself. Who your dad really is and what he might like. What does he mean to you? What role did he play in your life growing up? If your find the right answers, the best Father's Day gift for Dad just might be something you would never have thought of before.

Choosing that perfect Father's Day gift can be daunting task. However, there are hundreds of quality gifts available today that can be bought online. Search the internet for some ideas for gifts for dad, and be sure to order early so your gift arrives in time for Father's Day.

Father's Day 2013 on June 16th will be celebrated in many countries such as bellow. So, happy father's day for all the men who live there

Father's day in EUROPE:
Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, France, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Malta, Netherlands, Slovakia, Turkey and United Kingdom.

Father's day celebration in AMERICAN Continent:
Argentina, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Guyana, Haiti, Mexico, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent, Trinidad and Tobago, United States and Venezuela.

Father's day in ASIA:
Bahrain, Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Malaysia, Myanmar, Pakistan, Philippines, Singapore and Sri Lanka.

Finally happy Father's day June 16, 2013 in AFRICAN lands:
Ethiopia, Ghana, Jamaica, Mauritius, Namibia, Nigeria, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe

Easy Activities and Gift Ideas for Mother's Day

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MOTHER's Day is coming up soon! It's on Sunday, May 12, 2013. So, what ways can you honor and celebrate your mom, wife, mother-in-law, grandmothers, sisters and aunts that creates powerful memories? What are some awesome recommendations for Mother’s Day gifts?

Celebrating and giving gifts on Mother's Day can be challenging task for some. Of course, on Mother's Day this year, you want to delight her by gifting a special day treatment and selecting good gifts of many choices like fresh flowers, perfumes, jewelry, or other delightful presents.

Here are a few tips: easy activities and gift ideas of Mother's Day 2013 that might be good for her:

1. Queen for a Day Treatment

What is meant by "Queen for a Day Treatment?" It's a day to show appreciation to own mother to get away from the everyday chores by.giving her treatment that would sure make her feel really loved. For examples; spending the whole day with fun activities and things that she truly wants to do, give her a massage, spa gift basket, facial treatment or send her a date with dad to their favorite hotel and restaurant. Lastly, give her a hugh and tell her how much you love her.

2. Spending Quality Time

Everyone agrees that time is the most precious thing in relationship. When we come of age, there’s a bit of disconnect of quality time together between the children and mom. Sometimes we are with our mom physically but not with her mentally. In this situation, what really mom need to spend time with their kids more of value time. Talk to her, indulge in her activities, and have some memorable time together. Don't waste every opportunity to bond with mom.

2. Gift Flowers

Flowers for mom on Mother's Day are the gift that is always welcomed for the right size and color, and will never have to be returned. Flowers are sure considered tasteful and thoughtful. Since woman basically enjoy the great smell and freshness of flowers that can "swing" her inner mood to be happy. Flowers can be ordered over the phone or via online, so they are very convenient for you as a giver. In addition, they are also basically inexpensive, but still sends the message of love and appreciation for the receiver.

3. Gift Basket for Mom

A gift basket for mom is a good idea on Mother's Day because there is a wide variety collections available nowadays. Each having its own arrangement that will fit Mom just right! This present can bring a personal touch to gift giving. Some Moms prefer gift basket that contains foods, flowers and chocolates with hand written note saying how much the kids love her. You may also think to present her a gift basket with beauty body care/bath products on it.

4. Write a Unique Letter

Write Mom a letter telling about the whole good things she’d done for you including the good memories you have with her. Write with your heart how meaningful she is since you were a kid till now. Share with her the things you've been carrying in your heart for a long time. Write Mom the greatest compliment ever. Show her with your hand written note instead of computerized one.

5. Home Video and CD

Home video and CD – a tribute to mom can be a great gift on Mother's Day. On this occasion you need to create a short home video that is a compilation of family videos. The point is she can watch it sometime whenever she misses her children. Or if you don’t have family videos then you can burn a CD Mix, a collection of all her favorite songs that remind her when you both used together.

There are more ideas and activities for Mother's Day. Finding memorable activities and gifts for Mom in 2013 are NOT difficult. Just remember the basic … mom doesn’t want their children to spend a fortune in order to make her really happy!

Baby Naming Issue: Is the Third Child's Name Too Different in Style?

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Nicole writes:

We are quickly approaching the due date of baby # 3 and would love your opinion on our potential girl's name...  My husband and really like Joelle Aimee.  It honours both my sisters in different ways, we love the meaning, and think it's pretty, elegant, and timeless. Here's where I'm stumbling: We already have two daughters: Peyton & Mackenzie.  I realize that both their names fall into the "unisex/british surname" category/style (generally speaking) and I'm worried that 'Joelle' deviates too much from this?  I know that these categories and rules (as you so recently reminded us all!) are only guidelines... but I also don't want to choose a name that stands out like a sore thumb!  If you have other suggestions as alternatives, we'd love to hear... We'd prefer a name that has a different ending sound than our girls' names, and would consider the following names as middle names: Nicole, Sara, Danielle, or Aimee (all are significant within our family).

Baby Boy Hollis-with-a-W, Brother to Corin Henry

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Sarah writes:

Hope you can provide some guidance here for a couple of picky parents. We have a toddler son named Corin Henry, last name sounds like Hollis-with-a-W.
We love his name and we like that most people can say and spell it with little prompting, but it's different from most other names at the local park. It also suits our backgrounds - Scottish Canadian and English/Scottish Australian. The middle name honours his grandfather and great-grandfather (by using their middle names).
Now that we felt we did rather well naming our first, we're stuck trying to find an equally wonderful name for a second boy.
We live in a large, culturally diverse urban centre, so the naming options out there are wild and almost nothing unusual is unheard of. We are not worried if the name seems slightly feminine, in fact I rather it than a macho boy name like Rock or Axel. We like names from the British/Scottish/Welsh extraction. They just suit our background. Other guiding principles, I prefer two-syllable names for boys and don't like a plethora of common nicknames.
Our first decision was Errol which I love, but I got turned off it when I found some strange people on the internet that would have our son's first and last name. ARGH GOOGLE.
All of our other choices are mostly E names:Emery/Emory  - wondering if it skews too female these days, I prefer the 'o' spelling but I think the college is pronounced Em-OR-yEmrys/Emry - I like Emrys but the double 's' sound of the first and last names seems a bit lispy to me. Also the pronunciation of Emry does sound awfully like our first son's middle name. We wonder if people will just think we're mispronouncing Henry, which is a common name in our neighbourhood.
other names I've liked:
AudenGideonRufus
My husband isn't on board with any of these especially, but does not mind Rufus. It has the same double-s sound with our last name.
I'm stuck for any other suggestions. 
Hope you can help!

The first name that came to mind was Omri: similar to Emory and Emry, but not currently used for girls. (In the United States, Emory/Emery/Emry are all used more often for girls than for boys.) Omri is the name of the little boy in the book The Indian in the Cupboard, one of my favorite books from childhood. It's almost unused (only 26 baby boys were given the name in the U.S. in 2011), but not too difficult to say or spell. I spent a little time online looking up the pronunciation: most sources say it's AWM-ree. One or two gave an alternate pronunciation of a long O sound and an emphasis on the second syllable: ohm-REE. My family said it AHM-ree: the O sound of Oliver.

The second name that came to mind was Arlo: similar to Errol, but perhaps without any shady associations.

The third name that came to mind was Ruben: similar to Rufus, but without the S-ending issue.

I wonder if you'd like Earl or Karl or Darrell or Merrill instead of Errol?

Or Claude or Alton or Alden or Odin instead of Auden?

A few more possibilities:

Abel
Aidric
Barnaby
Bertram
Cedric
Cyril
Edmund
Franklin
George
Leif
Lyle
Merrick
Merritt
Murray
Perry
Russell (maybe too much L and S with the surname)