To contact us Click HERE
Hi,
Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn
O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)
Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html
I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............
3 Ocak 2013 Perşembe
Baby Naming Issue: When Do a Person's Flaws Rule Out Using an Honor Name?
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Amanda writes:
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
Love your blog and read it nearly every day! My husband and I have started having "when should we have children" talks and it looks like 2013 is the year! When I think of babies, I think of names, and thankfully we both love our family names and want to use honor names as often as possible.
But I have a question and would like your opinion because I am torn. When it comes to an honor name, should the name be use based on your (the parent's) personal experience with the person being honored or based on the actual personality? Let me be more specific - my grandfather's name was Everett and I have loved the name my whole life. Hubby likes it too. I have nothing but fond memories of my grandfather from when I was younger, though he was a bit more difficult in his old age the year before he died. I was his only granddaughter and he was always so good to me. However, I've since learned that he really wasn't that nice of a person - he drank a lot, went out "dancing till all hours," as my grandmother put it, and my family thinks he was verbally abusive to my grandmother, who was beyond a saint. She was the strongest woman I've ever known, and now I know why she had to be that strong.
I still love my grandfather and have amazing memories of fishing and playing baseball with him, but the more I learn about how he treated my grandmother and my father, I can't help but want to distance myself from him. I'm not too worried about hurting people feelings with the name - my father could care less what we name our hypothetical children - but do I really want to name my son after a terrible husband and father but a wonderful grandfather?
Thank you so much for any insight!
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
Baby Naming Issue: Dealing With Negative Associations
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M. writes:
A negative association does sometimes completely ruin a name. I can say "Try not to let it," but what would that solve? If the association now springs to your mind every time, the name is ruined. The best I could advise is preventative measures when possible: if you know from past experience that a single negative association will be impossible to get out of your head, have someone else help with the Googling.
Fortunately, time takes care of most such things. For awhile after a major crime, a hit movie or book, a big scandal, or an unfortunate session on Google, the names of most of the participants will be too strongly associated to use. We've had several letters mentioning that the name Grey/Gray has been ruined by the association with the popular 50 Shades of Gray book series---but it's hard to picture that effect being permanent. New books, movies, crimes, and scandals are always coming along to kick the old ones to the backs of our minds.
Unusual names will have longer-lasting problems: the names O.J. and Adolf still have strong associations, even though quite a bit of time has passed. But Charles Manson didn't permanently ruin the name Charles, in part because there are so many other people named Charles to weaken that association (though I suspect the name Manson isn't going to join the surname-name trend). There have been so many other people named Adam, I doubt it will be ruined, either. It may still be ruined for your own use, however, just as the name Charles was probably ruined for people who were shocked and upset by those events at the time.
You could try to manually dilute associations by deliberately looking for other people with a possibly-ruined name. Find every Annalise/Anneliese you can, and look at their nice pictures and read their pleasant and ordinary histories and look through their insufficiently-privacy-controlled Facebook walls. Watch some Adam Sandler and Adam Levine videos, and then read the biographies of Adam Smith and Adam West, and then watch Mythbusters and enjoy a little Adam Savage. Etc. Each time the unpleasant association pops into your mind, replace it with one of your new images; leaf through them like a little mental deck of cards.
I notice that many teachers have problems with name associations at a more minor level. I answer only a fraction of the letters I get asking for help with association-free names, mostly because there's no way they can list for me all the names that have associations for them. One solution is to choose a very unusual name, never before encountered---but then if there ever IS an association with that name, it will be an intensely strong one. Another solution is to choose a name so common, there's no way a single association can stick to it---but then of course there will be many, many new associations made all the time. It's hard to know what to do. Which is better: a bigger mental deck to flip through, or a deck that doesn't have to be brought out so often?
I have one anecdote about a negative association that was taken care of by a combination of dilution, an overriding association, and time. My high school boyfriend had a relatively common name; I'm going to use James as a stand-in for that name. We dated quite seriously for two years, and then had a series of terrible break-ups. For years afterward, I couldn't even think about him without getting furious and upset. And a little over ten years later, I gave my first son the middle name James. There were several things going on: (1) the name James is very common and diluted; (2) my grandfather's name was also James, and I wanted to name a son after him; (3) more than a decade had passed, and I'd had two serious relationships since then.
Does anyone else have suggestions for dealing with negative associations? Or anecdotes about negative associations fading (or not fading) with time?
Forgive me if you have covered this already, but I am curious if you have an tips on dealing with negative name associations.
Examples:
1. The name Adam has always been a frontrunner on our boy list. I love it - simple, classic, and (up until recently) a name where someone says "I don't know an Adam
who isn't a nice guy". BUT - now all I do is associate the name [with a recent crime].
2. I was googling to find out the original spelling for Anneliese (another favourite) - and came across "the real exorcism of Annelise Michel", and I can't get her
anguished black and white photo out of my head!
Please help!
A negative association does sometimes completely ruin a name. I can say "Try not to let it," but what would that solve? If the association now springs to your mind every time, the name is ruined. The best I could advise is preventative measures when possible: if you know from past experience that a single negative association will be impossible to get out of your head, have someone else help with the Googling.
Fortunately, time takes care of most such things. For awhile after a major crime, a hit movie or book, a big scandal, or an unfortunate session on Google, the names of most of the participants will be too strongly associated to use. We've had several letters mentioning that the name Grey/Gray has been ruined by the association with the popular 50 Shades of Gray book series---but it's hard to picture that effect being permanent. New books, movies, crimes, and scandals are always coming along to kick the old ones to the backs of our minds.
Unusual names will have longer-lasting problems: the names O.J. and Adolf still have strong associations, even though quite a bit of time has passed. But Charles Manson didn't permanently ruin the name Charles, in part because there are so many other people named Charles to weaken that association (though I suspect the name Manson isn't going to join the surname-name trend). There have been so many other people named Adam, I doubt it will be ruined, either. It may still be ruined for your own use, however, just as the name Charles was probably ruined for people who were shocked and upset by those events at the time.
You could try to manually dilute associations by deliberately looking for other people with a possibly-ruined name. Find every Annalise/Anneliese you can, and look at their nice pictures and read their pleasant and ordinary histories and look through their insufficiently-privacy-controlled Facebook walls. Watch some Adam Sandler and Adam Levine videos, and then read the biographies of Adam Smith and Adam West, and then watch Mythbusters and enjoy a little Adam Savage. Etc. Each time the unpleasant association pops into your mind, replace it with one of your new images; leaf through them like a little mental deck of cards.
I notice that many teachers have problems with name associations at a more minor level. I answer only a fraction of the letters I get asking for help with association-free names, mostly because there's no way they can list for me all the names that have associations for them. One solution is to choose a very unusual name, never before encountered---but then if there ever IS an association with that name, it will be an intensely strong one. Another solution is to choose a name so common, there's no way a single association can stick to it---but then of course there will be many, many new associations made all the time. It's hard to know what to do. Which is better: a bigger mental deck to flip through, or a deck that doesn't have to be brought out so often?
I have one anecdote about a negative association that was taken care of by a combination of dilution, an overriding association, and time. My high school boyfriend had a relatively common name; I'm going to use James as a stand-in for that name. We dated quite seriously for two years, and then had a series of terrible break-ups. For years afterward, I couldn't even think about him without getting furious and upset. And a little over ten years later, I gave my first son the middle name James. There were several things going on: (1) the name James is very common and diluted; (2) my grandfather's name was also James, and I wanted to name a son after him; (3) more than a decade had passed, and I'd had two serious relationships since then.
Does anyone else have suggestions for dealing with negative associations? Or anecdotes about negative associations fading (or not fading) with time?
Happy Father's Day June 16, 2013
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THIRD Sunday of June 16, 2013 is known and celebrated as Father's Day. So, what are you trying to get for the most important man in your life?
A Father's Day is greated once a year and it depends to you on how you can make this special day memorable for your closest man. Of course, there are many ways on how you can show to your daddy how much you love him.
First, we have no doubt you want to get a Father's Day gifts that will be cherished. You might try to find some thoughtful and unique father's day gifts that every dad will appreciate and enjoy. These gifts for dad are a great way to surprise him and make him proud to be your dad.
The best Father's Day gift for Dad should be one that expresses your gratitude to him for being your Dad. It should be one that comes from the heart. Even if you and your dad weren't that close, it is important that you pick the best Father's Day gift for Dad, because it sends a clear message to him that you do in fact care about him. You do in fact appreciate him for being your dad.
If you are not sure what to give for Daddy, then let's think first by asking yourself. Who your dad really is and what he might like. What does he mean to you? What role did he play in your life growing up? If your find the right answers, the best Father's Day gift for Dad just might be something you would never have thought of before.
Choosing that perfect Father's Day gift can be daunting task. However, there are hundreds of quality gifts available today that can be bought online. Search the internet for some ideas for gifts for dad, and be sure to order early so your gift arrives in time for Father's Day.
Father's Day 2013 on June 16th will be celebrated in many countries such as bellow. So, happy father's day for all the men who live there
Father's day in EUROPE:
Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, France, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Malta, Netherlands, Slovakia, Turkey and United Kingdom.
Father's day celebration in AMERICAN Continent:
Argentina, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Guyana, Haiti, Mexico, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent, Trinidad and Tobago, United States and Venezuela.
Father's day in ASIA:
Bahrain, Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Malaysia, Myanmar, Pakistan, Philippines, Singapore and Sri Lanka.
Finally happy Father's day June 16, 2013 in AFRICAN lands:
Ethiopia, Ghana, Jamaica, Mauritius, Namibia, Nigeria, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe
2 Ocak 2013 Çarşamba
Happy Father's Day June 16, 2013
To contact us Click HERE
THIRD Sunday of June 16, 2013 is known and celebrated as Father's Day. So, what are you trying to get for the most important man in your life?
A Father's Day is greated once a year and it depends to you on how you can make this special day memorable for your closest man. Of course, there are many ways on how you can show to your daddy how much you love him.
First, we have no doubt you want to get a Father's Day gifts that will be cherished. You might try to find some thoughtful and unique father's day gifts that every dad will appreciate and enjoy. These gifts for dad are a great way to surprise him and make him proud to be your dad.
The best Father's Day gift for Dad should be one that expresses your gratitude to him for being your Dad. It should be one that comes from the heart. Even if you and your dad weren't that close, it is important that you pick the best Father's Day gift for Dad, because it sends a clear message to him that you do in fact care about him. You do in fact appreciate him for being your dad.
If you are not sure what to give for Daddy, then let's think first by asking yourself. Who your dad really is and what he might like. What does he mean to you? What role did he play in your life growing up? If your find the right answers, the best Father's Day gift for Dad just might be something you would never have thought of before.
Choosing that perfect Father's Day gift can be daunting task. However, there are hundreds of quality gifts available today that can be bought online. Search the internet for some ideas for gifts for dad, and be sure to order early so your gift arrives in time for Father's Day.
Father's Day 2013 on June 16th will be celebrated in many countries such as bellow. So, happy father's day for all the men who live there
Father's day in EUROPE:
Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, France, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Malta, Netherlands, Slovakia, Turkey and United Kingdom.
Father's day celebration in AMERICAN Continent:
Argentina, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Guyana, Haiti, Mexico, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent, Trinidad and Tobago, United States and Venezuela.
Father's day in ASIA:
Bahrain, Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Malaysia, Myanmar, Pakistan, Philippines, Singapore and Sri Lanka.
Finally happy Father's day June 16, 2013 in AFRICAN lands:
Ethiopia, Ghana, Jamaica, Mauritius, Namibia, Nigeria, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe
Easy Activities and Gift Ideas for Mother's Day
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MOTHER's Day is coming up soon! It's on Sunday, May 12, 2013. So, what ways can you honor and celebrate your mom, wife, mother-in-law, grandmothers, sisters and aunts that creates powerful memories? What are some awesome recommendations for Mother’s Day gifts?
Celebrating and giving gifts on Mother's Day can be challenging task for some. Of course, on Mother's Day this year, you want to delight her by gifting a special day treatment and selecting good gifts of many choices like fresh flowers, perfumes, jewelry, or other delightful presents.
Here are a few tips: easy activities and gift ideas of Mother's Day 2013 that might be good for her:
1. Queen for a Day Treatment
What is meant by "Queen for a Day Treatment?" It's a day to show appreciation to own mother to get away from the everyday chores by.giving her treatment that would sure make her feel really loved. For examples; spending the whole day with fun activities and things that she truly wants to do, give her a massage, spa gift basket, facial treatment or send her a date with dad to their favorite hotel and restaurant. Lastly, give her a hugh and tell her how much you love her.
2. Spending Quality Time
Everyone agrees that time is the most precious thing in relationship. When we come of age, there’s a bit of disconnect of quality time together between the children and mom. Sometimes we are with our mom physically but not with her mentally. In this situation, what really mom need to spend time with their kids more of value time. Talk to her, indulge in her activities, and have some memorable time together. Don't waste every opportunity to bond with mom.
2. Gift Flowers
Flowers for mom on Mother's Day are the gift that is always welcomed for the right size and color, and will never have to be returned. Flowers are sure considered tasteful and thoughtful. Since woman basically enjoy the great smell and freshness of flowers that can "swing" her inner mood to be happy. Flowers can be ordered over the phone or via online, so they are very convenient for you as a giver. In addition, they are also basically inexpensive, but still sends the message of love and appreciation for the receiver.
3. Gift Basket for Mom
A gift basket for mom is a good idea on Mother's Day because there is a wide variety collections available nowadays. Each having its own arrangement that will fit Mom just right! This present can bring a personal touch to gift giving. Some Moms prefer gift basket that contains foods, flowers and chocolates with hand written note saying how much the kids love her. You may also think to present her a gift basket with beauty body care/bath products on it.
4. Write a Unique Letter
Write Mom a letter telling about the whole good things she’d done for you including the good memories you have with her. Write with your heart how meaningful she is since you were a kid till now. Share with her the things you've been carrying in your heart for a long time. Write Mom the greatest compliment ever. Show her with your hand written note instead of computerized one.
5. Home Video and CD
Home video and CD – a tribute to mom can be a great gift on Mother's Day. On this occasion you need to create a short home video that is a compilation of family videos. The point is she can watch it sometime whenever she misses her children. Or if you don’t have family videos then you can burn a CD Mix, a collection of all her favorite songs that remind her when you both used together.
There are more ideas and activities for Mother's Day. Finding memorable activities and gifts for Mom in 2013 are NOT difficult. Just remember the basic … mom doesn’t want their children to spend a fortune in order to make her really happy!
Good names for "Irish" cats to be adopted on St. Patrick's Day?
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Hi,
Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn
O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)
Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html
I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............
Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn
O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)
Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html
I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............
Baby Naming Issue: When Do a Person's Flaws Rule Out Using an Honor Name?
To contact us Click HERE
Amanda writes:
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
Love your blog and read it nearly every day! My husband and I have started having "when should we have children" talks and it looks like 2013 is the year! When I think of babies, I think of names, and thankfully we both love our family names and want to use honor names as often as possible.
But I have a question and would like your opinion because I am torn. When it comes to an honor name, should the name be use based on your (the parent's) personal experience with the person being honored or based on the actual personality? Let me be more specific - my grandfather's name was Everett and I have loved the name my whole life. Hubby likes it too. I have nothing but fond memories of my grandfather from when I was younger, though he was a bit more difficult in his old age the year before he died. I was his only granddaughter and he was always so good to me. However, I've since learned that he really wasn't that nice of a person - he drank a lot, went out "dancing till all hours," as my grandmother put it, and my family thinks he was verbally abusive to my grandmother, who was beyond a saint. She was the strongest woman I've ever known, and now I know why she had to be that strong.
I still love my grandfather and have amazing memories of fishing and playing baseball with him, but the more I learn about how he treated my grandmother and my father, I can't help but want to distance myself from him. I'm not too worried about hurting people feelings with the name - my father could care less what we name our hypothetical children - but do I really want to name my son after a terrible husband and father but a wonderful grandfather?
Thank you so much for any insight!
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
1 Ocak 2013 Salı
Good names for "Irish" cats to be adopted on St. Patrick's Day?
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Hi,
Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn
O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)
Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html
I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............
Our local animal shelter is having a St. Patrick's Day adoption celebration for cats. Do you have any good Irish names for cats? I know for people they say "Patty O'Furniture, etc. Thank you.|||Erin, Shannon, Siobhan, Fergus, Aislinn
O'Shea, Shaunessy, Killian, McDonough, and for any cat with whte feet: McMittens|||It you want the names to be really Irish, it's Paddy (not Patty) and Seamus (not Shamis)
Most Irish first names are crazy weird. Irish surnames are better. Here a list: http://www.namenerds.com/irish/last.html
I like Guinness.|||http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Drink鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Cat_Bo鈥?/a>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Laughs|||Claude O'Furniture might be more fitting lol. Some Irish names are: Murray, Seamus, Sean, Erin, Colleen and Tara.|||Lucky, Clover, Patrick|||Shamis|||a great name for an irish cat is paddy or shammy...............
Baby Naming Issue: Is the Third Child's Name Too Different in Style?
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Nicole writes:
We are quickly approaching the due date of baby # 3 and would love your opinion on our potential girl's name... My husband and really like Joelle Aimee. It honours both my sisters in different ways, we love the meaning, and think it's pretty, elegant, and timeless. Here's where I'm stumbling: We already have two daughters: Peyton & Mackenzie. I realize that both their names fall into the "unisex/british surname" category/style (generally speaking) and I'm worried that 'Joelle' deviates too much from this? I know that these categories and rules (as you so recently reminded us all!) are only guidelines... but I also don't want to choose a name that stands out like a sore thumb! If you have other suggestions as alternatives, we'd love to hear... We'd prefer a name that has a different ending sound than our girls' names, and would consider the following names as middle names: Nicole, Sara, Danielle, or Aimee (all are significant within our family).
Baby Naming Issue: When Do a Person's Flaws Rule Out Using an Honor Name?
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Amanda writes:
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
Love your blog and read it nearly every day! My husband and I have started having "when should we have children" talks and it looks like 2013 is the year! When I think of babies, I think of names, and thankfully we both love our family names and want to use honor names as often as possible.
But I have a question and would like your opinion because I am torn. When it comes to an honor name, should the name be use based on your (the parent's) personal experience with the person being honored or based on the actual personality? Let me be more specific - my grandfather's name was Everett and I have loved the name my whole life. Hubby likes it too. I have nothing but fond memories of my grandfather from when I was younger, though he was a bit more difficult in his old age the year before he died. I was his only granddaughter and he was always so good to me. However, I've since learned that he really wasn't that nice of a person - he drank a lot, went out "dancing till all hours," as my grandmother put it, and my family thinks he was verbally abusive to my grandmother, who was beyond a saint. She was the strongest woman I've ever known, and now I know why she had to be that strong.
I still love my grandfather and have amazing memories of fishing and playing baseball with him, but the more I learn about how he treated my grandmother and my father, I can't help but want to distance myself from him. I'm not too worried about hurting people feelings with the name - my father could care less what we name our hypothetical children - but do I really want to name my son after a terrible husband and father but a wonderful grandfather?
Thank you so much for any insight!
Interesting topic. I think if I were you I might start by doing a little more gentle investigation (keeping in mind the reliability of each source you ask). "Family thinks he was verbally abusive" is hard to interpret, and could vary hugely from "He thought she needed him to be in charge of her, the way even good men thought two or three generations ago, even though it seems appalling now" to "He called her a stupid worthless bitch if she under-salted the soup" to "Well, no one ever heard or saw anything, but we feel like it's the kind of thing he would have been capable of and we're a generation that expects our parents to be perfect in every way or else get blamed in therapy." To me, it's a good sign that your dad wouldn't care if you used the name: if he felt his dad was a truly terrible husband and terrible father who abused him and his mom, it seems like he would mind the idea of his grandson having that name.
Every single human being is a mix of good parts and bad parts, no exceptions. Your grandmother may have seemed like a saint, but she too had a set of normal human flaws, just as we all do---things she managed to keep the family from knowing about, or things that don't make good stories, or things you'll find out later. It sounds like the things you're finding about your grandfather fall within normal range: maybe drinking too much, maybe going out dancing when your grandmother would have preferred him not to (there's nothing wrong with dancing late at night per se), maybe not being entirely nice to everyone. If it hadn't been those things, it would have been other things: maybe instead he would have smoked, forgotten birthdays, been relentlessly critical of his daughter-in-law, and spent all weekend watching sports when your grandmother would have preferred him not to.
Or perhaps more investigation will reveal that your grandfather's own set of flaws WERE beyond the usual realm: maybe he persistently called your grandmother names, and told her it was her own fault he slept with other women every night he went out dancing. Maybe the things you find out will change the way you think of him: you'll feel the good parts of his personality you experienced can't possibly make up for your new knowledge of the bad parts.
And that's where I think the line naturally falls: I think that if someone's personality/behaviors are bad enough that you shouldn't use that person's name, that's the point at which it will happen naturally that you'll no longer WANT to use the name. It feels icky to come up with an example, but I think it'll be a useful exercise if we do it quickly and don't think about it too much: imagine if you'd always wanted to use the name of an beloved uncle, and then found out he was a pedophile who'd put a secret camera in your childhood bathroom. I don't think you'd be writing to me wondering if you should let that bother you, considering what happy childhood memories you had of him; you wouldn't even WANT to use the name anymore, no matter how many years you'd loved it.
This is why when you ask me about your grandfather's name, I suspect it means his flaws fell within normal range. It can be startling and upsetting to learn such things about people we love, but so far you haven't told me anything that makes me think it would be inappropriate to use his name.
If you're shying away from the name because you think it's not appropriate to honor a person who had flaws, I'd urge you to reconsider: otherwise, you'll rule out every single honor name. But if as you learn more about your grandfather's particular flaws, you find you want to distance yourself from him, then it would not be a kindness or an honor to give your son his name. Emmett, Evan, or Elliot would also be nice choices.
Happy Father's Day June 16, 2013
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THIRD Sunday of June 16, 2013 is known and celebrated as Father's Day. So, what are you trying to get for the most important man in your life?
A Father's Day is greated once a year and it depends to you on how you can make this special day memorable for your closest man. Of course, there are many ways on how you can show to your daddy how much you love him.
First, we have no doubt you want to get a Father's Day gifts that will be cherished. You might try to find some thoughtful and unique father's day gifts that every dad will appreciate and enjoy. These gifts for dad are a great way to surprise him and make him proud to be your dad.
The best Father's Day gift for Dad should be one that expresses your gratitude to him for being your Dad. It should be one that comes from the heart. Even if you and your dad weren't that close, it is important that you pick the best Father's Day gift for Dad, because it sends a clear message to him that you do in fact care about him. You do in fact appreciate him for being your dad.
If you are not sure what to give for Daddy, then let's think first by asking yourself. Who your dad really is and what he might like. What does he mean to you? What role did he play in your life growing up? If your find the right answers, the best Father's Day gift for Dad just might be something you would never have thought of before.
Choosing that perfect Father's Day gift can be daunting task. However, there are hundreds of quality gifts available today that can be bought online. Search the internet for some ideas for gifts for dad, and be sure to order early so your gift arrives in time for Father's Day.
Father's Day 2013 on June 16th will be celebrated in many countries such as bellow. So, happy father's day for all the men who live there
Father's day in EUROPE:
Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, France, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Malta, Netherlands, Slovakia, Turkey and United Kingdom.
Father's day celebration in AMERICAN Continent:
Argentina, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Guyana, Haiti, Mexico, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent, Trinidad and Tobago, United States and Venezuela.
Father's day in ASIA:
Bahrain, Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Malaysia, Myanmar, Pakistan, Philippines, Singapore and Sri Lanka.
Finally happy Father's day June 16, 2013 in AFRICAN lands:
Ethiopia, Ghana, Jamaica, Mauritius, Namibia, Nigeria, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe
Easy Activities and Gift Ideas for Mother's Day
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MOTHER's Day is coming up soon! It's on Sunday, May 12, 2013. So, what ways can you honor and celebrate your mom, wife, mother-in-law, grandmothers, sisters and aunts that creates powerful memories? What are some awesome recommendations for Mother’s Day gifts?
Celebrating and giving gifts on Mother's Day can be challenging task for some. Of course, on Mother's Day this year, you want to delight her by gifting a special day treatment and selecting good gifts of many choices like fresh flowers, perfumes, jewelry, or other delightful presents.
Here are a few tips: easy activities and gift ideas of Mother's Day 2013 that might be good for her:
1. Queen for a Day Treatment
What is meant by "Queen for a Day Treatment?" It's a day to show appreciation to own mother to get away from the everyday chores by.giving her treatment that would sure make her feel really loved. For examples; spending the whole day with fun activities and things that she truly wants to do, give her a massage, spa gift basket, facial treatment or send her a date with dad to their favorite hotel and restaurant. Lastly, give her a hugh and tell her how much you love her.
2. Spending Quality Time
Everyone agrees that time is the most precious thing in relationship. When we come of age, there’s a bit of disconnect of quality time together between the children and mom. Sometimes we are with our mom physically but not with her mentally. In this situation, what really mom need to spend time with their kids more of value time. Talk to her, indulge in her activities, and have some memorable time together. Don't waste every opportunity to bond with mom.
2. Gift Flowers
Flowers for mom on Mother's Day are the gift that is always welcomed for the right size and color, and will never have to be returned. Flowers are sure considered tasteful and thoughtful. Since woman basically enjoy the great smell and freshness of flowers that can "swing" her inner mood to be happy. Flowers can be ordered over the phone or via online, so they are very convenient for you as a giver. In addition, they are also basically inexpensive, but still sends the message of love and appreciation for the receiver.
3. Gift Basket for Mom
A gift basket for mom is a good idea on Mother's Day because there is a wide variety collections available nowadays. Each having its own arrangement that will fit Mom just right! This present can bring a personal touch to gift giving. Some Moms prefer gift basket that contains foods, flowers and chocolates with hand written note saying how much the kids love her. You may also think to present her a gift basket with beauty body care/bath products on it.
4. Write a Unique Letter
Write Mom a letter telling about the whole good things she’d done for you including the good memories you have with her. Write with your heart how meaningful she is since you were a kid till now. Share with her the things you've been carrying in your heart for a long time. Write Mom the greatest compliment ever. Show her with your hand written note instead of computerized one.
5. Home Video and CD
Home video and CD – a tribute to mom can be a great gift on Mother's Day. On this occasion you need to create a short home video that is a compilation of family videos. The point is she can watch it sometime whenever she misses her children. Or if you don’t have family videos then you can burn a CD Mix, a collection of all her favorite songs that remind her when you both used together.
There are more ideas and activities for Mother's Day. Finding memorable activities and gifts for Mom in 2013 are NOT difficult. Just remember the basic … mom doesn’t want their children to spend a fortune in order to make her really happy!
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